Well, hello Tuesday….and dear readers, of course. Shall we move on from our previous bout of mental masturbation (and obsessive over-analysis) to a round of perhaps more prosaic action?
Like that which goes down tonight, live at 6pm ET. It’s Toytime Tuesday and of course, Minamembers are expected to be there, wanking along in worship of me. Not a Minamember? Well, aren’t you the silly boy? Get your ass on over to XxxMina.com, find yourself the “Cams” page and the link to “Rude’s Premium Feeds” where it all goes down. “Group shows” is what you’re looking for, baby and I’ll see you there with toys in hand and debauchery in my black little heart. I’ll be wearing something sexy, and you’ll be wearing a smile and perhaps a load of your own hot spunk by the time it’s done.
In other news, I’ve picked up yet another fucking cold and have been roaming the house in a fog of sinus pain and congestion. NOT sexy in the slightest but I choose to blame the lack of orgasmic action around here. The Man and I have embarked on yet another way-too-goddamn-busy week and haven’t had time for any fun at all, even with each other, let alone our friends. In his case, it’s been the Evil Soul-Sucking Dayjob that’s the culprit and in my mine, said friend is still out of town til next week.
Although, technically I suppose if it had come down to a purely selfish question of a longing for entertainment, The Prospect probably would have been an option. Except I haven’t been able to get up the slightest interest in actually getting together with him and at this point, I doubt like hell it’s going to happen. As mentioned in previous posts, logistics alone are a significant factor with regards to how much actual time we have to put into our extramarital adventures and lately, should we find ourselves with a free evening, we’ve been more interested in each other than mustering up the means and interest necessary to giving a hoot about someone new. Adding in the threat of a re-emergence of Social Anxiety Susie says “too much fucking trouble” to me, and Joe seems to feel the same about his harem.
There’s also the very real fact that the prospect (note the demotion to small caps) just doesn’t feel right. He’s a nice guy, pretty sexy in his way, and actually funny as hell (and even READS — hot) but I smell a control-freak streak and have already had to metaphorically slap his nose a time or two — once with full threat of Wrath of Mina lurking in both tone and intent. He SERIOUSLY pissed me off and it’s kind of lucky for him we weren’t face to face at that point.
One alarm bell is all it takes to put me off somebody and as we all know, I am all too capable of winding myself up to nervous pitch even without feeling I have to. My walls remain up and firmly in place even around the most laid-back people and I just can’t see getting comfortable with this guy. And in the interest of ethical sluthood, being bored or subject to cabin fever really isn’t a good reason to go out with someone. So thank you for your time, prospect, you’re out.
In other news, Boytoy continues to keep in touch. We breached the What I Really Do barrier during a videochat last night and despite the fact that I was completely UN-fucking-prepared for that convo, it seems to have gone well. I’d already begun to mentally rehearse coming clean when next we saw each other face to face (why? because I felt I could) but the conversation went as it did, he asked questions and I’m a rotten liar. So out it came. The good news is, his reaction was along the lines of a pretty calm “Oh….ok, cool.”
Which is actually kind of perfect. I’d never allow anyone to judge me for what I do — and whoever did would be strongly advised to blow me and fuck off — but neither did I want to see the reaction all too common (and often most disturbing) among civilians: that disbelieving glee that cries to its buddies (perhaps with a macho fistpump) “Whoa, dude, my very own pet porn star!” The kind of reaction that entirely negates everything we’ve learned about each other as actual PEOPLE up to this point and replaces it with an insultingly narrow little set of preconceived notions about “porn stars.”
The kind of reaction that prompts posts like this and why anyone who met me first as “Mina” is completely disqualified as a possible to participant in our little adventure here.
But he kept cool, asked a few valid questions, didn’t get over-excited, and that was that. And of course, to give myself some credit, if I’d really thought he’d react like a douche, I wouldn’t have gone out with him in the first place. I’m not stupid, and I did actually take into account that if things went well, at some point I’d have to be a grown-up and say “Hey, guess what? That ‘internet marketing’ spiel I gave you? Well, there’s a little more to it than that and most of it involves promoting porn. MY porn.” In point of fact, we were already kind of halfway there, insofar as I did reveal the last time we were out that most of what I promo is adult work and he didn’t blink then either.
So ok, I’m “out”. I was honest about the fact that I own 3 sites, this blog, a video store and a bunch of social media profiles (as well as the fact that Joe owns a bunch of his own) but also blunt about the fact that no, he wasn’t getting urls yet because it’s too soon. Although based on what I told him, he could well have found me by now, using about half his brain. If that. And could very well be sitting there with that little half-smile on his face, watching me blather all over myself and you, via the spycam sneakpeek page.
In which case, it’s a good time to get off my ass, hit the shower and get myself all nakedy and wet, thus extending a proper welcome to the wonderful world of my little indie smut empire.
As for you, dear readers, catch you live at 6pm ET. Muuahs xoxoxo
Mina
